Value

I was just reading "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller (again!) and there was something in there about letting things or people "name" you. That is, making your entire worth come from one person or something.

It became clear to me that I have let my vision of the future "name" me. I had decided that I would have no value to anyone unless I planted a successful church in Northern Virginia. That's really what these last few weeks have been about: my feelings of complete worthlessness because this did not happen. Somehow, in the midst of all this I forgot that God values me more than I can value anything: more than my wife, family, job, hobbies, or even my guitars!

The thing that has been the most meaningful about these past few days/weeks is so many friends just coming out of the woodwork and bending over backwards to make time for me, to listen to my frustrations, and show me that they are for me even when circumstances are not.

I've regained some optimism about the future. I'm looking for houses out here, and the prospect of having a real house for the first time with my wife is exciting. We'll see. If you read this, keep praying for me. And read "Blue Like Jazz"!

"Present Future"

I just finished reading The Present Future by Reggie McNeal. It was a graduation present and a good read. He said a lot of the same things that I've been writing about, except his was more thought out and a few years before me!

Here's my deal. I want a church (group of people) to be different, not just for the sake of new, but for the sake of discipleship. As I've been saying we really need to reevaluate the marks of a follower of Jesus (traditionally: church attendance, tithing, and helping the church) and use marks from the sermon on the mount, such as loving enemies, generosity, genuineness, and a love for God because of Jesus that spills over into our other relationships.

Basically, I really don't see much good in the institutional church. My goal is to massively decentralize things, and "disorganize" the church, if you will, in order to make it more effective and even more enjoyable in my opinion.


Anyhoo, I'm heading to VA today for a much deserved vacation and to see if I can't persuade someone to hire me. Maybe I can even find a dude or two who wants to help me start a church.
God only knows......