There was a commercial a while ago about some company (maybe Nextel??) that allowed people to be flexible when the situation changed. And even though I don't remember exactly what the commercial was advertising, I remember that everybody in these commercials said "Change of plans" about 100 times. It got pretty irritating.
Anyway, as I follow Jesus, that seems to be the theme of my life:
Career in music? Change of plans --> enlist in Air Force
Career in Air Force? Change of plans --> go to school for ministry
Useful college degree? Change of plans --> quick degree in "General Studies"
Get paid experience in ministry? Change of plans --> stay in UPS
Career as a regular pastor? Change of plans --> pursue church planting
Plant a church in Virginia? Change of plans --> get financially settled first
Move to Virginia? Change of plans --> stay in Kansas City
Do more with UPS???
Find a house to rent in KC???
Get a second job???
Start a church???
Go to another church???
Well, because of all these changes, I have almost been a nomad. My only dream in life is to go somewhere and STAY THERE! But God keeps churning my life around, with experience after experience that leaves me dissatisfied.
And the worst thing about it is that I don't really have anything solid to complain about. I can't relate to any of the psalms or Job because my only real enemies are my attitude and God's roadblocks and detours (probably related?). I definitely identify more with Ecclesiastes in being stuck in the futility of life in the cycles of the generations.
In the midst of all this I am faced with the exasperating exhortations in Scripture that just tell me to be faithful and shun evil and so on. I want to find some real practical help in making my daily decisions and know that I am on the right track, but I keep coming back to just being a good student/follower of Jesus.
There is one metaphor in Psalms that really applies to me here: "stuck in the miry clay." The hardest part about all of this is resisting the temptation to entice God: "God I'll fast/give/study/share/love/sell whatever if You'll just..." Sometimes I really wish God worked that way; that would make this Christianity stuff a whole heck of a lot easier than what it really is: waiting patiently for the Lord to lift us up out of the mire in due time.
2 comments:
yeah, it's funny how our theologies break down when we find ourselves clawing through the mire. i want answers to keep coming, & immediate "fix-its," but God seems to want me to show some faith. guess i need my mustard seed to grow, as it were. keep blogging buddy
Wasn't one of your fave songs "strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord..."?
Post a Comment