Well, not "Hollywood" per se, but Kansas City doesn't have any exciting true stories of intrigue and suspense: that is, until now!!
I want to depart from the theoretical rights and wrongs of Christianity and describe some of my experiences in real, true, gritty, raw format. Excited yet? I know I am.
To begin, I confess that I am a horrible, horrible coward when it comes to talking about Jesus with other people. This is partly because I don't want to be made fun of and partly because I don't like revealing my passions to anyone: musical, artistic, design, love, sports teams, or whatever. I like to play everything close to my chest and remain mysteriously (and coolly) aloof from friendship and any level of intimacy.
The result? I have very few friends and a phobia of intimacy on many levels.
Anyhow, I'm sure you're not reading this to hear me complain about my social problems like a tweeny-bopper girl at a giggly slumber party. On to the titular concerns (that is, relating to the title, not what you're thinking!).
As strange as it may sound, there is a lot of difference in trying to explain and persuade to Christianity someone who is a divorced 50-year-old man and a late-twenties philosophy major. The first wants short, simple answers that I have a hard time giving because I tend to get logorrhea ("diarrhea of the mouth") and over explain all the junk behind how people arrive at simple conclusions. This, however, is a great method for the latter guy.
My point is, it is difficult to adapt effective speaking methods to different kinds of people. At times, it frustrates me, because it means that I have to put more time and energy into things.
Or . . . maybe I should just pray about it more and let the Holy Spirit do his job.
Anyway, it's a lot more fun to talk about Jesus and it's pretty wild not having all the answers to the hard questions of life. I've found that if it's too easy, it's probably wrong, but oh well.
Can anyone out there relate to this? Did everybody follow what I just said?
6 comments:
Go ahead, tell everyone about the group hug last night. Phobia of intimacy...WHAT??
group hug? i'm leaving . . .
just kidding. i'm having a hard time getting the nerve to tell all the thugs we live around about Jesus, mainly because i'm not sure how to approach it with them. i'm finding it easiest to just ask, "hey, do you go to church anywhere?" then just see where the conversation goes. but, trust me, i'm not trying to imply i do it often or am good at it or anything lol. unfortunately, neither
Hello Andrew,
You say,
"I don't like revealing my passions to anyone...I like to play everything close to my chest and remain mysteriously (and coolly) aloof from friendship and any level of intimacy... The result? I have very few friends and a phobia of intimacy on many levels."
I think you've hit on the #1 fundamental problem with American churches. They don't teach their members how to relate to people in any meaningful type of way, and the end result is most American Christians have very few friendships: whether they be Christian friendships or non-Christian.
Scripture teaches us that, in order to win people to Christ, it's not really necessary (nor helpful) to attempt to "adapt effective speaking methods to different types of people". Our witness for Christ is best shown through how we live, not through our words. As John said, "let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth" (1 John 3:18).
With that in mind, I've come to find that the most important way to win people to Christ is through building friendships. The key to building a friendship is knowing how to relate to the person that I want to make friends with.
I like how the apostle Paul says that he "became all things to all men" that he might by all means save some (1 Cor. 9:22). Paul knew how to adapt to different situations, cultures, and traditions in order to get rid of any roadblocks that people had that stood in the way of the gospel. Once those roadblocks were cleared, sharing the gospel became so, so much easier.
So, the difficult thing is not really explaining the gospel to people. The difficulty is in making myself relate to people enough so that they will trust me enough to listen to it. If I am unable to relate to someone in a meaningful, physical way, then they won't listen to what I have to say about Jesus.
In order to relate to someone, this means that I must become a part of their culture, and perhaps even participate in many of their traditions. This will often include traditions that are totally different from mine. As you mentioned in your blog post, this will take lots of time and energy, but it is necessary.
Unfortunately, instead of adapting to the culture that surrounds them, American Christianity has its own "culture" that it attempts to force upon people. The end result is most non-Christians are turned off by Christianity altogether because it means they will have to abandon their culture/lifestyle and adopt a completely different one. Granted, some lifestyles are out-and-out sinful. But others (in fact most) are not.
Christianity should always be able to adapt to the changing culture that surrounds it. American Christianity (which seems to be stuck in the 1950s) does not do this. The end result is that most American Christians have very few (if any) friends, and most definitely have no friends outside of their own race or culture.
Sorry that this comment is probably longer than your original post, but you asked a very deep question (of which I have very strong convictions) that I felt needed a rather lengthy response :-)
I admit, the fear of intimacy is selective. Thanks for the comments guys, and thanks for the honest humility, Mike.
Frank.
Thanks for your comments. I sort of agree with you, but for several things:
1) It's not the church's responsibility to teach how to relate to people. That's part of just growing up. That's the family's job.
2) You'll be VERY hard-pressed to come up with an example of evangelism without words in the Bible. Actions back up the words, they don't substitute. Also, the book of Acts is almost totally verbal evangelism--that's hard to ignore, which you did.
3)There is no such thing as "American Christianity." Every church is different. Everything is in there, from Joel Osteen to Kenneth Copeland to Tim LaHaye to house churches.
Thanks Frank!
frank,
i can let my NT fall open and, lo, there will probably be a verse about verbally and orally and speakingly (?) and talkingly (you get the point) doing evangelism. i'm not sure we can say the same for doing evangelism without speech or words.
that said, i agree that orthopraxy (right practice) is still as important and mandatory as orthodoxy. it's just not evangelism as far as i can tell. so, with respect, i think i disagree with you.
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